POEMS
A selection of things that I have written.
Is It Hackneyed To Suggest Its Dogfighting For Children?
The Raggedyman, 2023
I crave the title, number one, the finest underneath the sun.
To catch them all is my greatest task, To hold them all within in my grasp.
Journeying through lands far and wide, hunting new companions with skill and pride.
To train each Pokémon I find, help harness their power deep inside.
Pokémon, oh, the fateful clash, in a world we constantly bash.
Pokémon, oh, fierce and true, our valour shall carry us through.
You teach me, and I'll teach you, yo do whatever I tell you to
Tournaments fought through, one by one, Stalwart, we'll face them, and never run.
Engaging in duels, challenges we face, Unyielding strength, plus honour and grace.
When the moment arrives to take a stand, Fearless, evolved, I’ll choose you to command.
Pokémon, oh, the glorious clash, through this world we violently slash.
Pokémon, oh, battered and bruised. Poke Centre points will be accrued.
Pokémon, ally of mine, To catch you was a bloody swine.
Poké chum, our bond never fails, A poke ball, it is your jail.
A World of dreams and adventures unfolds. Through conquests and battles, brave and bold.
A hundred opponents, faced one by one, After each match, you heal up the fun.
Pokémon, oh battle rages day and night, To be your master, my delight
Pokémon, my every whim you abide I’m sure you love it, deep inside…
The Akira Horror Picture Show
(The Raggedyman, 2023)
Act 1
Tetsuo
Kanada
Tetsuo
Kanada
Tetsuo
Kanada
Akira
VROOM!!
Act 2
Tetsuo
Kanada
Kiyoko
Takashi
Masaru
Miyako
Tetsuo
Kanada
Akira
WHO??
Act 3
Tetsuo
Kanada
Tetsuo
Kanada
Espers Induced
Dimensional Singularity
Akira
Kanada
Tetsuo
WHAT!?!?
Goku International
(with apologies to Sir John Cooper Clarke, 2023)
Outside the take-away, Saturday night
A coiffed adolescent, asks me out for a fight
He was no bigger than a sen-zu bean fart
He was a deft exponent of the Sai-yan arts
He gave me three warnings, Trod on me toes
Stuck his fingers in my eyes And kai blasted me in the nose
A kaio-ken made me eyes explode
My head went dead, I fell in the road
I pleaded for mercy, I wriggled on the ground
He spirit bombed my balls and a recap he did expound
Gave my face the Ultra Instinct tread.
Inhaled my kebab and left me for dead
Through rivers of blood and dragon fisted bones
I crawled half a mile to the public telephone
Pulled Krillin out the call box, held back the bile
And with a broken index finger, I proceeded to dial
I couldn't get an ambulance
The call didn’t go through
The receiver fell in half
It had been kame-hame-hued
A wandering Numekian opened up the door
Demanding information about the baldy on the floor
He looked like he’d come from Ji-Go-ku
He asked "What's all this then and “did Vageta send you?”
He wore a weighted jacket, He was green and zen
He finished his narration and he beat me up again
Thanks to that student of Master Roshi
I'm a shadow of the person that I used to be
I can't go back to Central City
The Z Fighters, for me they’ve got a plan
Enter the Dragonballs?
Exit Raggedyman
"Mild Annoyance"
(With apologies to Dylan Thomas, 2026)
Do not go gentle into that real world.
Oldtaku should smoulder and rave at the final party.
Rage, rage, against the ending of the con.
Though senpais at the end know Monday is near,
Because the rent is due and the kids have to go to school.
Do not go gentle into that real world.
Good friends, who wave as we go by, joking how bright
the daylight burns our eyes, as we seek our bed at 10pm,
Rage, rage against the closing of the con.
Wild we who once bought questionable merch with penny-stretched eyes,
Now share, group chating, how to tell before buying or ensure a refund.
Do not go gentle into that real world.
Grey-haired, almost 40, who see with aided sight
Worn faces that could tell how to spend fifty-nine quid on two episodes and be gay!
Rage, rage against the closing of the con.
And you, fellow travellers, here at this sad height,
Sore, bruised, staying long despite your inbox, I say.
Do not go gentle into that real world.
Rage, rage against the ending of the con.
"Ode To Giant Robotics"
(with apologies to Anthony L Ray, 2026)
I like big bots and I can not lie
You other nerds can´t deny.
That when a mech fly in with a pilot in it's face
and the shots incoming at pace.
The trap sprung, get that loadout buffed,
cuz that Metal Geat is stuffed.
All the guns and beams and swords it is wearing.
Full lock on I can hear that armour tearing.
Oh Mazinger, I Wanna pilot ya.
Please´ save us from disaster.
My base crew tried to warn me,
You ain't no peacetime allegory
Ooh, crumpled metal heck.
yell "shin-ji, Get inside that mech"
Lasers: coming to me, and through me,
Cuz point blank ain't the place to be.
I see Voltron steakin´, he ain´t´ retreatin´.
Another wave is comin' through.
Get it on´ like RX-78-2
I am tired of magazines, saying isakis run the scene.
Take the average anime fan & tell them that.
And they willll yell "bring the bots back".
So, Valkaries (YEAH),
VOTOMiesS (YEAH),
Has your commander got the war machines? (HELL, YEAH)
So tell 'em to shake it, Quake it
Absolutely devastate it!
Now shake that metal dream
Cause Minami loves bots!
Shower
(With apologies to Allen Ginsberg, 2025)
I’ve seen the best cosplayers of the convention, passing their time standing in the line for the bring-and-buy, dragging themselves through the secondhand shelves, looking for a cheap plastic fix.
Heavy-headed hopesters yearning for the ancient heavenly DVD, to finish the collection, that they'll watch on Crunchyroll , who bargain hunt and late-night eyes strung out on poky and cheap Asda noodles eaten in paper-blanket hotels with automated check-out, contemplating isakai.
Who shared their brains to panels under fluorescent lights, and to first-time attendees staggering on cheap bottles of bootlegged booze, who skipped their uni lectures, with otaku eyes, dreaming of connection and finding camaraderie, among the scholars of anime.
Who were expelled from WhatsApp groups for crazy, and drawing obscene wifu on the doodle pad of the soul. Who huddled in overcrowded rooms in Ki-gu-ru-mis, burning their money in trade halls and listening to the k-pop on bad wi-fi. Who got busted by hotel security, returning from McDonalds with a stack of hentai, from the “art draw”
Who ate more Pocky in cheaper hotels or inhaled Red Bull and partied awake, dragging and punishing their torsos, panel after panel with dreams, with caffeine, with cosplay nightmares, alcohol and glomps and endless kawaiie, comparing blind bags and shuddering at fan-drama and lightening up their mind. Throwing up posts on TikTok & Reddit, overloading all the normie world with endless weeb.
What twist of the content algorithm, through this to their skulls, and ate up their attention and spare cash?
Manga. Anime. Nerd Crack. Stans!
Series meets and poorly spent monies. Fan conversations under the stairways. Group sobbing at plot points. Photo shoots in the parks.
Manga. Manga. Dreaming of Manga. Manga the lovely. More manga. Manga never judges me.
They broke their backs lifting Manga to Heaven.
Chapters, issues, Collection, Tan-ko-bon. Lifting the story to Heaven, taking them everywhere and telling everyone.
Netflix. Amazon. High dive. Hulu. Fansubs. Spitting it out as an anime river
Meetups. Comic-Cons. Expos. Residentials. Wild weekend loaded with deeper sensations
Fellow weebs. I’m with you at the con, where you’re nerdier than I am. I’m with you at the con, where you do not feel strange at all.
I’m with you at the con where we wake up caffeinated out of the coma of our own hyper focuses' roaring over everyday dull.
We have come to drop nerd bombs and parade our passions to illuminate ourselves as fandom’s walls collapse.
Oh, hardworn cosplays, now at the back of the wardrobe. Oh, glitter-spangled shocks of Hello Kitty, the eternal sparkle is here. Oh, victory, unpack your haul bag, we are free!
I’m with you after the con. In my dreams; you walk, dripping with fan merch and hard-spent times, laughing in joy at the foot of your real bed, collapsing from the fun-soaked escape.